To The Person I Parted With
by Irma.Arisa.Laye
Summary: ON HIATUS! Our computer broke down and I lost the data for this story and some of the other stories I'm writing. I'll try looking for the hand-written data I had before... 別れたあの人への伝言: A series of oneshots/drabbles using heart broken quotes!
1. Dream

_夢のような恋をしたかった_

_でも、夢は… 夢だった__!!_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own GH!

**Synemyoa: **It's been a long time since I've updated my stories. Sorry about that… I'm stuck right now. Yet I suddenly thought of writing a 'different' series of one-shots/drabbles… I'll try my best to be able to update my other stories!

**Pairing: **NaruMaiGene

--

"**To fall in love, like in a dream--**

**I wanted that.**

**But then, I woke up.**

**I realized-- a dream can only be a dream!"**

There he goes again, smiling to me as if I was the woman he cared most about in the world. Smiling to me like an angel… every time, it gets me high seeing his eyes shine with happiness.

"Naru…" his name, I can only whisper.

Then, he'll reach out his hand to me.

"Mai," his voice as gentle as always, "Be careful." Every word said with care.

He makes my heart melt at his kindness…

But then--

"Mai!" a familiar voice shouts seemingly from afar yet very near.

"Mai, tea!"

And I am woken up from my dream.

I shake my head, slap myself to wake my senses completely and then heave a sigh.

"Hai, coming, Naru!" I shout back with fake zeal.

I close my eyes for a while, feeling my left hand touch my face. It was the hand he held in my dream.

"Why can't he smile and be kinder, just like in my dreams…" I whisper to myself.


	2. Think

_いくら__,_

_私があなたを想っても…_

_あなたは私を想わない__._

**Synemyoa: **Disclaimer, same as always. Here's the second drabble. I hope you'll like this one…

**Thanks to: **My first two reviewers! Biru Biru and sinmay!

**Pairing: **MasakoNaruMai

--

"**No matter how much I think of you,**

**I know you'll never think of me…"**

Your hair, your eyes, your hands, your built, everything… I admire everything about you. At first, I mistook you for someone else. He was kind, friendly and he cared for me like a sister. And you were his twin, but you were different, poles apart!

I wanted your attention,

Your praise,

Your acknowledgement…

I got your praise because of my looks.

I got your acknowledgement because of my abilities.

But your attention, I wonder if you'll ever give it to me?

"I like you!" I said that bluntly to you the other day…

But just like any other girl, you shrugged me off.

Here I am again, thinking about you and how I feel. But will you ever feel the same?

"I'm sure you never will…"

"Sadly, someone else has gotten your attention." I whisper softly, holding back my tears, as once again she managed to get your attention because of her plain yet warm personality…


	3. Thank You

_ありがとう__._

_今日__, __笑ってくれて_

_それだけで__--_

_もう十分__!!_

**Synemyoa: **This collection will be filled with different pairings and their insecurities, pains and emotional ordeals. I hope everyone will continue reading! Since the drabbles are short I can update faster... Hehehe This one's longer than the first two though. Enjoy!

**Pairing: **MadokaLin

--

"**Thank you.**

**Today, you gave me a smile.**

**Even with just that, it's enough for me…"**

I know I'm annoying.

But I do that because I want you to see me.

I know I'm noisy and talkative.

But that's only because I want you to hear me.

I know I'm plain.

But still I want you to notice me.

I know… I know, you hate the Japanese and I'm one.

But I want to hope you don't hate me…

There you go again, oblivious. You're not a stupid man. In fact, you're very intelligent. Of course, I know that! I've known you for years… I've been with you for years… But even though I know a lot about you, I just can't read what's in your heart. And you are so dense! It's plain to see I like you, head over heels in love with you that even Naru knows it but doesn't care. But you, you just don't get it…

You've been sitting all day in front of your laptop, typing, as usual. I wonder what you're typing about anyway. Are you a fan fiction writer on the internet or something?

Maybe I'm irritating you with my endless humming of sad love songs. Sorry, but I want you to take even just an 'irritated' glance at me…

And yet, even just THAT, you really can't give…

I really am nothing…

I've had enough of this!

"Kou-chan, I'm leaving now. I need to buy some groceries anyway. Take care when you drive home, okay?" I said, faking my cheerfulness.

For the first time the whole time I was here in your office, you turned away from your work… What you did next, shock me though, in a happy way!

You smiled… I mean it's actually, truly, a right from the heart (I'm sure!) kind of smile!

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, smiling for real this time too.

"Nothing… Thank you for keeping me company. You're the only person who doesn't seem to die of boredom when you're with me." You replied, still smiling.

"Are you on drugs, Lin?" I asked playfully. You looked at me seemingly with a question mark on your head.

"Just kidding. Jaa, bye!" I said as I turned towards the door.

"Take care of yourself, Madoka…" You said, in a barely audible voice…

_'Today, you smiled at me and my heart smiled back. Do you know that? Nah, you're just way too dense! But I guess that's okay…' I thought to myself._


	4. With You

_いっしょにいるだけで_

_楽しかった__--_

_いっしょにいても_

_悲しかった__--_

**Synemyoa: **I still don't own GH! But it's nice to pretend sometimes that I do! Hahaha! This is the first time I ever typed a chapter of something I'm writing using someone else's computer! I'm in a friend's house right now, just finished studying for the exams... Wish me luck!

**Thanks to: **Ayjah, Biru Biru and sinmay for reviewing! This one's for you guys (girls)!

**Pairing: **AyaHou

--

**Simply being with you,**

**It's fun!**

**Yet even though I'm with you,**

**I feel sad…**

I never thought that coming to an old rundown school would not only introduce me to brand new spirits (or no spirit at all, actually) but also someone like you…

I know our first meeting wasn't all that great. You insulted me (you know, age is a very sensitive topic with women!) and I insulted you. I must admit, back then, I really wanted to throw plates at you! Hahaha!

Sure, the fights can get so tiring; the bickering brings pain in the head and the nonstop insults can only do so much to my feelings… But they were fun! Seriously!

I mean, I'm not a masochist (maybe only a little) but I'd like to think those silly arguments are nothing but friendly banter between us. Even with just those I feel as if we're really close, as if there was an unbreakable bond already formed between us that we can freely tell each other anything…

Or am I the only one thinking this?

If so, then… ouch! For real. You don't know how much control you have over me. It just so happened I'm not transparent (unlike our Mai-chan) like others. With just one compliment (though you hardly give one) you can lift my spirits up. But even with only one complaint from you (I get a lot of those) you can break my heart into little pieces…

**That's what being with you can do to me.**


	5. L word

_恋していた。_

_私だけが__--_

_恋していた！_

**Synemyoa: **Yey! Tomorrow's the last day of exams. I'm so happy! We were supposed to go to Tokyo after school tomorrow since the exams are over… But, my sister will be discussing her college plans with her adviser and they're going to have to fill up some forms and things like that… So going to have some fun in Tokyo with friends--CANCELLED! -cry-

Anyway, I'll be adding two chapters today! I hope you'll like them. -smile-

**Thanks to: **These people who takes the time to read my work and give me reviews! sinmay, Biru Biru, Ayjah, my sister, (I was surprised she took the time to read at least one of the stories I posted in here!) and of course to Moons-Chan, who added this collection to her favorites… Thank you very much!

**Pairing: **MasakoNaru (and a mysterious guy at the end! -wink-)

--

"**I loved…**

**and was the only one who loved."**

I can never say I am certain about what -hic- I feel for you.

I know it is more than just a crush.

It is something -hic- bordering around admiration or infatuation.

And I guess, it is a little, even just a bit close -hic- to the L-word.

Love. -hic- Love. -hic- Love. –hic-

But now, I have finally opened my eyes.

I don't have to wait -hic- for someone who doesn't want me.

I deserve more… much more than how you are treating me!

Ha! Take that, you narcissistic, jerk!

Am I drunk? -hic- Who said that? I'll smack that person in the head!

-hic- I was surprisingly invited by -hic- Mai-chan and co. to have some fun -hic- tonight.

I know I look -hic- too much of a snob to actually go with them…

But I even surprised myself when I said a blatant YES in their shocked faces!

The monk, Takigawa-san -hic- offered me a drink… I knew there was something in it. After all, I heard them snickering away -hic- after I took it. But it's okay…

So, yeah. I guess I am a bit drunk.

It feels nice. -hic- I feel light and my problems are nothing but bubbles -hic- floating in my head. In fact, it even feels as if I'm not stepping -hic- on the ground right now!

"Listen -hic- up, people! Tonight, I, Hara Masako stand here -hic- before you and swear to never ever again looked at the way -hic- I looked at Shibuya Kazuya before. I swear never ever again shall I be -hic- deceived by his beautiful face. Because behind that seemingly -hic- harmless exterior, is a man as cold as ice… that just shatterd my hea-- shattered my hear-- my heart int-- into-- in pie… ces…"

Hmm, I don't feel as if I'm floating anymore.

E? That's strange… Weren't we -hic- in the club just now?

I opened my eyes covered with tears, my hiccups stopped miraculously and for a moment there… I thought I saw an angel…

"Are you all right, Hara-san?" that was what he said, as he wiped away my tears.


	6. Beside You

_ばかにされてもいい__,_

_冷たくされてもいい__,_

_あなたのそばに_

_いたかった__--__。_

**Synemyoa: **Well, I haven't been putting 'disclaimers' lately. I know you know it already folks! I remember reading a story a few days ago. The story didn't have a disclaimer, only a message saying that everyone knows no one in the site who owns anything anyway aside from OCs and plots… So, the author was saying that she would only put a disclaimer if by some sort of miracle someone in the site finally owns an anime or book, etc. (I guess, he/she did have a point there. Hahaha!)

**Dedication: **This chappie is for the people I thanked in chappie 5! (Moons-Chan, my sister, Ayjah, Biru Biru and sinmay!)

**Pairing: **NaruMai

--

"**You can make fun of me.**

**You can be cold whenever you want.**

**All I want is to be beside you…"**

Last night, I had a very scary dream.

Can you guess what it was about?

No.

It wasn't about any sort of case…

No ghosts.

No spirits.

No dead people turning into demons because they want to live so badly.

No crazy clowns attacking me in my sleep.

No Math and numbers chasing after me even in dreams.

If I tell others about it, I bet they'd be puzzled as to why I was so scared of the dream… So very afraid-- that I woke up crying, bathing in my sweat even though it was pretty cold.

Fine.

I'll tell you.

The dream started out as a good dream actually.

I was having a walk in the park.

What made it good was that, he was there with me…

--Just the two of us, surprisingly walking hand in hand.

By then, I knew it was a dream already.

I mean, he wouldn't do that with me of all people in real life!

Yes, let's move on…

We were walking hand in hand, smiling, chatting about something…

…Looking so happy and contented.

When all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a man whose face I couldn't make out in the dream appeared and the two started arguing. They were shouting at each other. But even though their lips were moving, I couldn't hear anything.

Then, he looked at me with a painful expression on his face and he said the most hurtful words I ever heard him say to me…

_"Goodbye, Mai… forever."_

It was beyond frightening… that dream.

But I guess, it only means one thing.

Someday, that may happen for real.

You'll say goodbye to me and I'll never see you again…

But I wonder if I can convince you to stay…

"I'm fine with anything you do and anyway you act, just as long as you stay with me." That's probably what I would tell you.

Yet, somehow…

I have this awful feeling inside me, telling me that when that time comes--

You would only give me that same hurt look in the dream, and just walk away.


	7. Wanting This, Wanting You

_こえてほしいなんて_

_思ったりしないから。_

_愛してほしいなんて_

_願ったりしないから。_

_もう少しだけ__,_

_そばにいて！_

**Synemyoa: **Another chapter! I really appreciate the reviews! And I even met a new friend, Biru Biru-chan, my anonymous reviewer! (I'm so glad she placed her email along with her review.) For those who guessed who the guy was in chappie 5, this new one's for you guys! -wink- (But I guess it was pretty obvious who the guy was. Hahaha!)

**Thanks to: **Biru Biru, sinmay, Moons-Chan and another anonymous reviewer Kay for their comments!!

**Pairing: **MasakoJohn

--

"**Wanting this to come through,**

**I never thought of that.**

**Wanting you to love me,**

**I won't wish for that.**

**So, even for a while…**

**Can you stay by my side?"**

Never in my twenty one years of living in this world, did I ever thought the day would come the vow I made would be broken.

I know it is a grave sin…

I know I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall for her.

I should have stopped and looked away when I started noticing just how weak, how fragile and yet still beautiful inside and out she was.

Perhaps, others would disagree with the last words from that previous statement. But I think it is true.

No matter how bratty and snobby she acts. I know it's only because of her status. Maybe she had been fooled before… Maybe acting high and proud is her way of shooing others away… Maybe, just maybe, behind her unfriendly façade is a scared little girl looking for someone to be her true friend.

I know I would pass as a true friend to her.

I thought so and I know she did too and perhaps still do.

But I don't anymore…

How can I ever think of her only as a friend again?

I have fallen in her trap; she herself probably didn't know she had lain before me…

It is a sin.

…A terrible sin.

And I have committed it.

But as a priest, I can never tell her.

It would only further complicate things.

Our friendship would shatter and she may not see me the same way again. She may even distance herself from me… That which I'm sure I will never be able to take.

So…

I won't ask for this love to come through.

I won't ask for this love to be returned.

I will love her in silence because that is all I can do.

In order to not ruin anything.

Just so I can continue being her friend, if not asking for anything means having her by my side…


	8. Not Me

_私じゃないんだ。_

_私じゃだめなんだ。_

_--__心の中で繰り返す。_

**Synemyoa: **Here's chappie 8! Dedicated to everyone who reads this collection!

**Thanks to: **Moons-Chan, Biru Biru and sinmay for reviewing again!

**Pairing: **AyaHou

--

"**It's not me.**

**I'm not good enough.**

**--This, my heart repeatedly says…"**

We always fight.

You always hit me.

Because I always make fun of you.

I'm sorry…

I just want you to look at me even with anger in your eyes.

At least, you spared me even just a glance.

Lately, you've been acting weird.

The good kind of weird, I think!

Sometimes, I catch you staring at me…

It makes my heart beat so fast and I feel happy inside.

And yet, in an instant, my fantasy was destroyed.

Guess who I saw just now, walking out of a fancy restaurant?

You…

--with Lin.

Now that I think about it...

Every time I catch you staring,

he was always standing there behind me.

I guess it really just isn't me, huh?

If it's me, it's not right…


	9. Can't Be Her

_あなたのためなら_

_私は何だってできたのに、_

_彼女になることは__--_

_できなかった。_

**Synemyoa: **Here's another chappie. It's kind of connected to chappie8 (AyaHou)! I hope you'll enjoy reading! -smile- Thanks to the people who don't get tired of reading and reviewing this short drabbles! -grateful-

**Pairing: **MadoLin

--

"**I would do anything if it was for you.**

**Anything! And yet--**

**I couldn't be ****her****…"**

Lately, you seem to be smiling an awful lot.

That's strange.

Really queer…

But every time I try to ask you, you turn away or change the topic.

I wonder what or probably who the reason is for you to have such an unusually glowing aura around you nowadays…

I really want to know.

But you just don't want to tell me.

I've been trying to guess.

But I always seem to be wrong anyway…

I've only been guessing 'what' after all.

Perhaps, what's truly making you shine lately isn't really a 'what' but a 'who'…

Somehow, it hurts.

It's painful.

I wonder who she is, what she's like for you to have taken a liking to her…

I've been thinking, guessing, wondering these past few days.

I wanted to find out, to know the answer.

Now, the answer is right before my eyes…

Now, I wish--

I wish with all my heart that I have never witnessed how happy you looked together with her.

"I guess I'm no match for the girl you chose. I can't possibly be anywhere near Ayako…"


	10. Still

_まだ、好きなんだもん！_

_でも、だめなんだもん。_

**Synemyoa: **Here's another chappie for you all! I hope you'll enjoy reading it! Thanks to those who give reviews! -smile-

**Pairing: **MasakoJohn

--------

"**I love you still.**

**But we just can't be…"**

Who would have thought that in such a short time I would forget about Naru?

Who would have thought I would fall in love again?

And I never would have thought this time it will be for real.

I never would have thought either that this time, it will be harder than before…

I'm watching you from across the room.

You're golden locks moving every time you laugh.

I like seeing you happy, smiling, and laughing like that.

You're kind, honest and caring.

No wonder, I fell in love with you…

But there are two problems I have to face---

One, how can I make you fall for me when you're a priest.

Two, even if you do fall in love with me… You ARE a PRIEST!

And yet, surprisingly, I don't seem to care about those 'little' things anymore.

All that matters is that I love you and I feel that I always will.

No matter what others may say.

Even if feeling this way towards you is a sin.

I don't mind going to hell when I die, if it means I could keep loving you although only from afar.

"I love you, John. Even though I know there will never be an us…" I whispered, as I continued watching you from across the room.


	11. Looking

_あなたが私を見ていない_

_と分かっていても__---_

_私はあなたを_

_みつめつづける。_

* * *

**Synemyoa: **It's been a long time since I last updated this one. Sorry about that! Well, after a while here's the next chappie. I hope y'all will give a review! -smiles-

**Pairing: **MadokaLin

* * *

**I know you never look at me.**

**Still, I continue looking at you…**

There you go again, acting all innocent. I wonder if you really can't notice.

Or maybe… you're pretending not to.

But I guess this is better.

At least, I don't have to further embarrass myself. I mean, just doing the act is already shameful for someone like me.

What more if you caught me in the act?!!

Yes, I admit it now!

I, Lin Koujo am acting like some pervert, staring at you when you're not looking.

Well, not that I'm a 'real pervert'! I'm not thinking of dirty thoughts while looking at you!

That's…

That's just not what a man, a Chinese man like me would think of.

Although, I must admit that you not only have both the brains and the beauty…

You do have all the curves in the right places--- Wait!

What the---?!!

Why did that suddenly cross my mind?!!

This is preposterous! Erase, erase, and erase dirty thoughts!

Whoops! Sheesh! That was close. I thought for a moment there you caught me ogling--- I mean, staring and admiring your beauty. -sigh- I am hopeless…

"But I wish you'd look at me too. Just the way I'm looking at you." I muttered under my breath, taking one last look at your laughing face (Bou-san's being silly again.) before returning to my sanctuary (office) to hide these feelings of love I have for you…


	12. Forgetting You?

あなたのことを忘れるのを

思ったことあるけど。。。

忘れたら。。。

私はどうなっちゃうんだろう?!

* * *

**Synemyoa: **Hello there!! It's been a really... long time since I last updated this drabble collection. (And my other works are still left hanging. *sad*) Well, I was suddenly having some sort of inspiration... So, yeah, decided to write one (or two?) chappie/s!!

**Thanks to: **As always Biru-Biru, Kay and Moons-chan. My answer to the latter's 'puppy-dog-eyes' request for NaruMai... Starting chappie 14 to 19, it's going to be all about the famous 'love triangle'... *wink* But I do hope you'll still read and review the next chappies to follow even if they're not NaruMai.

**Pairing: **MasakoJohn

* * *

**"I thought of forgetting about you...**

**But if I do forget...**

**What would happen to me?!"**

It starts raining outside.

I hate the rain.

It reminds me of the times I cried so much because of Naru.

I hate that part of myself... I was a fool back then.

And yet, I still remain a fool even now.

This time... perhaps, an even bigger fool.

Why?

Because I fell in love with you!

I've thought about forgetting about my feelings for you countless times.

Still, my stupid, stubborn heart refuses to obey.

Right now, with the rain pouring outside this dark, cold cave...

I wonder what you're thinking about, sitting there across me.

Gah!

You look at me.

Ugh! Stupid lightning, scaring me!

I feel my face starting to heat up.

Why the hell won't you stop staring at me.

You shift...

Your hands move to touch my cheek...

I'm thankful it's dark in here so there's no way you can see how red I am in the face right now.

But s**t! It's so quiet...

I bet you can hear my heart beating like crazy.

"Are you okay, Hara-san?" you said, breaking the silence.

You're voice is so comforting, so gentle... kind.

_I need you. _My heart screams.

Still, I'm a coward.

"I-I'm fine..." I replied, then brushed off your hand.

"That's good to hear. Are you cold?" you said, trying to start a conversation again.

_Hold me. _My heart aches to tell you.

"No." Another lie.

I see you smile in the dark. You move again, taking off your jacket.

"You don't have to pretend around me, Hara-san."

You place the jacket on my shouders. It smells like you...

_I love you... _My heart surrenders.

I tug at your right hand.

You seem surprised. But you smile once again.

Our hands clasp... I'm no longer afraid.

_I will never forget you, no matter what._ My heart finally understands.


	13. Someone You Love

* * *

"好きな人できた?"

--なんて聞かないでよ!

目の前にいるんだから…

* * *

**Synemyoa: **Hi y'all! Another indefinite time has passed since I updated. I'm off to upload two chappies (today & tomorrow)!! I hope y'all will like them. -smile-

**Disclaimer: **Duh! As always… -giggle-

**Pairing: **MadoLin

* * *

"**Have you found someone you love?"**

**--Don't ask me that!**

'**Cause he's right in front of me…**

* * *

I can't help it.

I know it's stupid of me to keep coming back to Japan.

I know you're wondering, why I waste all that money.

…

…

…

So yeah, you asked me about it last time.

It's so easy to tell a lie…

Half a lie, anyway.

"_Luella wants me to check on Naru from time to time."_

_...and I want to see you. Is that wrong?_

As if I'd say that last thought to your face…

Not in a million years, I won't!

...

...

...

Silence.

So deafening.

It's always like this when I'm with you.

Yet I find it comforting because you're by my side.

…

…

…

Broken.

In a matter of seconds, you broke the silence successfully.

With one simple, and yet complex question…

"Have you found someone you love?"

I am startled by it.

"W-why do y-y-you ask? This is so unlike you…"

You became quiet.

I am already regretting my words.

"Lin… I…--"

What I wanted to say got caught in my throat as you…

You lift your face, staring at me with your dark pools.

So enchanting…

So, serious, so genuine… that it broke my heart.

Now, I see.

…

…

…

You seem to have found someone you love.


	14. Rebirth

"生まれ変わったとき-

また、好きになっても・・・

いいですか?"

* * *

**Synemyoa: **Hey there! It's been so long since I updated this. I was studying for tomorrow's exams a while ago... but I thought I needed a break, so why not update at least one chapter? ;)

**Disclamier: **Do I really need to repeat myself? -lol-

**Pairing: **MaiGene

* * *

**"When the time comes we are reborn,**

**can I stil-**

**fall in love with you?"**

* * *

"Naru..." No. I know now that he isn't my narcissistic, insufferable, evil but lovable boss.

He just smiles at me. He knows that I know. He always seem to know... everything.

"Hello, Mai. My name is Eugene. Call me, Gene."

He reaches out his pale, gentle hand for me to shake...

Instead...

I run to him for a hug.

He may not be Naru. I may not really know him.

But I know enough, for he has always been there...

In my dreams.

In every case.

In every moment I felt afraid of my feelings for his twin.

"Thank you." I tell him between my cries.

"Mai..." He says as he lifts my chin, staring into my eyes.

Without a word.

Without a sound.

Without a single thought.

Without a sign of resistance.

I let him kiss me...

And now, I find my answer...

_I love Naru, after all._

He sighs. He knows.

Still, he smiles- a genuine one, the one I love seeing on his face.

His face, not Naru's... or any other brother they 'may' secretly have.

"Thank you, Mai. You freed me...

You freed _him_."

"I _love_ you, Gene. I'll never forget you." I try to stop them, but still the tears fall.

He gives me a toothy grin. He's soooo like a kid whenever he does this.

He holds my hands, lifts them to his lips...

"If ever I get reincarnated...

Can I still love you, Mai?" He says, and I see the sadness in his eyes.

I broke his heart.

Call me cruel, heartless.

But I don't feel sorry.

Because I love his brother, with all of my being.

And I give him an answer, straight from my very soul...

"Sure you can."

We hug each other... one last time. _Goodbye__・・・_


End file.
